Marysue From The Black Lagoon
by Yi-na
Summary: Random and pointless humor page or two-long marysue. Does good really have power over evil?? Does love blossom in adversity?? Does anyone care if I ever talk again??


One fine merry day while Jeice was strutting merrily to his room (Yes, he has a room YOU SILLY NEENER-HEAD!!!!!!). Umm..Okay, I have to try to keep this from being a humour fic. Yes, it is a Marysue and yes, it is unbelievably crappily written. And short. Very short. But oh well. I really like my little hobag badly named Marysue and I might re-use him for some good fic.  
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One FINE day Jeice was strutting merrily along his room. DAMNIT! There it goes. Ah, well. Anyway, he was strutting along until...he got to his room...and there was a person sitting in the rug. He was busilly shoving himself with a sandwitch and seemed oblivious to everything going on around him, not that much was, anyway.  
  
He was obviously male, because he had no chest. And he was too tall to be a small child, so he was a man. But his face was feminine, with thin eyebrows and glossy lips. His build was girlish, too, even if he has no chest. His waist was slender and his legs were probably long, even though Jeice couldn't see them for being tucked under him. He wore no armour, but he had something of a fighting gi and a goldenrod-coloured pole that he held to his shoulder. A bandana, partially orange and partially red-pink was knotted over purplish hair. His eyes were a venomous-purple, but they were bright and like a child's. As for his gi--it was a chinese-looking, orange-and-gold suit, which didn't help conceal his girlish curves in the least. In orange gloves the boy clutched a riceball like a treasure.  
  
When he caught site of Jeice, he squealed. "I didn't touch nothin'!" he stuttered, jumping up. His voice was somewhat british accented, and though it was quite deep it had an odd feminine tone to it. "I didn't touch nothin'!" he squealed again as he went stampeding out. He tripped in the doorway and fell sprawled out on the ground, then crawled on his knees with amazing speed away. Jeice sweatdropped, staring after the kid.  
  
"......Okay......."  
  
  
  
  
Frieza sat with his beloved wine cuddled to his chest. He heard quiet breath behind him and didn't bother turning around. It was just that Hiroshi kid, the one with the sick obsession of him. But it shook him up a bit when he felt someone grab his tail.  
  
He turned to see the little purple-haired beast clinging to his tail with all four limbs. "Hi!" he shouted on top of his lungs.  
  
"GET OFF ME!" Frieza screamed, but he didn't dare hit the guy. He had somehow gotten ahold of his Quatre Rabera doll, and Hiroshi had sworn to feed it to Dodoria if the Emperor hadn't taken him in as a high-ranking soldier. The Icejin had no desire to tell his father that he needed to re-visit the Gundam Wing store; besides, King Kold disapproved of Frieza's Quatre fixation. He preferred Duo.  
  
Suddenly a simply eeeeevil plan formed in the Emperor's mind (that was...abrubt....). He coughed to get Hiroshi's attention. The guy was examining his feet. When he gave no action of attention, Frieza coughed again. Still no reaction.  
  
"Hiroshi?" Frieza asked.  
  
Silence.  
  
"Hiroshi?" Frieza repeated.  
  
Hiroshi plucked at a toenail, but still said nothing.  
  
"HIROSHI!!!!" Frieza screamed.  
  
"Yeah?" Hiroshi said in a soft voice, tilting his head to look up at his newfound master.  
  
"How would you like to become part of a SPEICAL group of my army?" Frieza asked sweetly, forcing a smile onto his black lips.  
  
"How much does it pay?"  
  
"As much as you like. Free buffets." Frieza knew very well Hiroshi's definition of "pay". Now he watched as the little guy's eyes lit up. He leapt to his feet, and positively threw himself onto Frieza, wrapping his arms tightly around the Emperor's form. Frieza coughed and his eyes started to tear. He had a fully-grown man's weight on his crotch.  
  
"Hiroshi..." he said in a high(er)-pitched voice. "Go and ask around for Captain Ginyu... And... Please, get off of me............."  
  
  
  
  
Hiroshi had been bouncing around when he found them. Instead of shaking hands, he had dive-bombed Ginyu's crotch, making him speak in the same voice Frieza had. Then he has started bouncing around and just wouldn't shut up. All five had tried bribe after bribe, before they discovered the young man's weakness. Now he sat on the floor shoveling food into his ravenous jaws, oblivious to the stares of the rest of the men around him. "Food" he commented in a cute baby-ish voice, through a mouthful of bread.  
  
"It's so cuuuute!" squealed Recoome, clamping his hands together. "Can we keep it? I bet it rhymes with doom!"  
  
"Damn you, NOT EVERYTHING RHYMES WITH DOOM!" screamed Burter.  
  
"You rhyme with doom."  
  
"I DO NOT!!!"  
  
"BE QUIET!!" snapped the Captain. Then he reached out to try to take the food, hoping that Hiroshi was calm enough to speak now. Hiroshi saw his hand coming and tried to bite it. With a sigh Ginyu withdrew his hand.  
  
"You scared it." Guldo said dully, looking up a bit at the kid.  
  
"It's not an IT! HE'S A HE!!!" Recoome hollered defensively. Then he put his arms around Hiroshi's neck. Hiroshi cuddled into his side and even held out a piece of bread to him.  
  
"Awwwww!" everyone cooed.  
  
Then everyone in the universe... THEY EXPLODED!! Those who didn't had a party and the Sailor Scouts all got laid by eachother and everyone was happy because they took pictures!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Yes, that WAS unbelievably random and unnessicary. Look, I thought it was funny! Be gentle when it's time for the monthly flames, okay, pookie? 


End file.
